The Adventures of a 35yo (Alcohol) Virgin
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At 35 years old, I had never tasted, tried or drank an alcoholic drink of any kind. During 2012 that all changes drink by drink and you get to enjoy the results post by post.
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Final 10, a preview
Holy crap! The final 10 drinks on the Adventure have been decided! I’ve reached out to just about everyone and barring any changes in the wind or travels, I present to you in no particular order (but the final drink, #1)…
10. The Author & The Artist- sharing a drink (or two) with two of my good high school buddies, one a famous author friend and the other a local artist and country lady.
09. The Roommate - sharing a drink with my first college roommate, who tried many many times to get me to drink.
08. The Sibling - sharing a drink with my sister, my original best friend.
07. The Co-Worker - sharing a drink with a former co-worker, and deep-thinking, fun loving DC friend.
06. The Co-Hosts - sharing a final drink with the No Call No Show drinking DC podcast boys for another riveting installment of comedic conversation.
05. The Sweetness - sharing a drink with one of the sweetest, kindest, funniest friends I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.
04. The Father - sharing a drink with my father, the man from whose loins I was borne.
03. The Buddy Crush - sharing a drink with a good buddy who I used to have a major crush on back before we were both happily married men.
02. The Mystery Guest - sharing a drink with someone that will even be a mystery to me until the moment it happens.
01. The Husband - sharing my final drink for the blog with my husband & best friend; it’s a repeat, but of the finest of qualities to say goodbye to the Adventure.
I hope you’ll join me for the final 10 posts; the drinking countdown begins this Thanksgiving. It’s going to be quite the crazy bubbly wrap-up. I think I’m actually going to welcome getting a little buzzed from some of these upcoming posts, no lie.
Cheers,
Ben
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The End?
“Is the blog over? Where have you been?”
No, not yet. Yes I have been quite absent. And yes it’s all drawing to a close. And not just because I’m 36 now…
But yeah, I’m getting older and it’s slowing down. A few drinks left before the end of the year and I’m packing the Adventure in. Only to start a new one. Or not. I’m traveling a lot these days, applying to go back to school, planning a reception, blah blah blah.
Point is, it’s not over yet. But it’s damn close. So close. Oh, life. What the hell, right?
Right.
Ben
PS: No fear Michelle, that Long Island is coming. Carrie, that SoCo is scheduled. And I’ve still got a few friends & family drinks on the way… quit freaking out. Glug-glug-glug, it’s not over till the glass runs dry.
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Meta is as Meta does
That awkward moment when Tumblr is retelling the tales of being away from Tumblr while Tumblr was unavailable to Tumblr. Toast toasts toast x1000 shit up in here.
![LemondropAh, Friday night. So, to kick off the weekend, Joe and I were having a “couples night out” with several of his office work friends and their significant others. Most of the group were completely new to me—outside of the occasional brief introduction at prior work events. We started the night by heading over to Poste at the Hotel Monaco. But several of the folks were concerned the drinks would be too expensive, the atmosphere too fancy, the place too upscale hipster. Totally a fair assessment.Ok, no problem, right? So where next?…35minutes later after naming every bar in a 1 mile radius followed by a “eh.” or “meh.” or “no…” we all decided cheap drinks were key, low noise was a plus and someplace close was necessary.Joe and I—kinda as a joke in consideration of all the requests—asked “What about McCormick & Schmick’s?” And they all said yes.You are correct, we are to blame. I know this now.Oh, are you familiar with M&S? It’s fine. Honestly. Its a much nicer chain than Red Lobster—but not half as fun. But they’re still pretty hit or miss. And they over-charge and often under-deliver on portions and quality. But again, it’s fine.And as a mid-up-level chain, it was pretty dead on a Friday night in downtown DC. We were seated all together and it was quit, but those were the highlights. They run a end of the night “happy hour” featuring food and drinks so hopes were high for cheap too, but… well…Ok, so first things first. Their drink & cocktail menu is odd. On one hand they don’t seem to really feature classics. Instead they seem to feature classics with a house-twist. But as it’s a chain and not it’s own unique place, each house drink was something like HoneyRita® - Made with Jose Cuervo® tequila, SueBee® honey-flavored vodka and a splash of soda water, you’re going to be buzzing about it. Wait, what?Everything was just a bit off. Where it just wasn’t an odd mixture, it was an terrible sounding one. They also had loads of standard and upscale liquors and mixers, but that’s not a shock.The table ordered a round of drinks and a few things to munch on. But not before the Waitress—who, lord help her, was taking care of our entire section alone—mentioned that one of the bartenders was a trainee.A trainee on a Friday night? Then again, its not like the place was hopping. But alright, at least we were warned.In retrospect, that warning helped save her credibility.Half of the drinks that came to the table looked off. And apparently tasted off. Joe’s and a few others experienced drinks they called “tasteless.”, “weak.” and “literally like nothing.” There were several returns, re-orders and new orders placed. I kept it simple and ordered my first Lemondrop martini. Simply made with vodka, tripple sec, superfine sugar and fresh lemon, it’s a classic. This one pushed the lemon envelope a bit and had Citron vodka as its base. Smart.It was straight lemon fruit juiciness—even with a touch of pulp. Bright, tart, sweet and slightly sharp, it had a nice burn from the vodka heightened by the fresh lemon zing. It was really refreshing, nicely upscale and adult, nothing dramatic but very pleasant. It was an adult lemonade, more class and sass than a Mike’s Hard Lemonade, but admittedly less fun. Rimmed with sugar and served with a lemon wedge, it was just shy of great and bordered on pedestrian. But I enjoyed it nonetheless. I’m starting to realize that I’m craving balance from my drinks. I like sweet over not, but I need depth. I’m relating to alcohol like I relate to hot sauce: I need flavor and heat. And I’ll take flavor over sting every time, but their marriage is my sweetspot. I like the brown and yellow liquors because they have something more to offer: flavor, depth, layers, personality. The clearer the liquid, the more boring the beast, I’m afraid.[note: also, this is not necessarily a political statement.] The reminder of the experience was just as run of the mill. The bartender never seemed to find his footing—each drink ordered by the same people looked different from one another and the alcohol levels and mixers were consistently off.Adding to that people still getting a bit drunker, louder, more impatient and it starts to get increasingly awkward for everyone. Thankfully, we had decided to head over to another bar before things got too tense. We all agreed we paid too much and were underwhelmed. But I clearly got enough to keep the blog moving and for what it’s worth, that’s perfectly good for me. ha. So sorry, M&S, you were pretty substandard, even for a chain. But thanks for a perfectly solid Lemondrop. And while everyone else felt cheated by their swill, mine gets immortalized.Oh life. What a wonder, am I right?Cheers, Ben](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma35eg7heg1r8m8f1o1_250.png)
![[ _______________ ]One of the greater pleasures in spending a certain amount of time at the Blue Banana is owner Jamie’s interest in my drinking journey. This interest spans from being the gracious host to my charity events to friendship, having an alcohol-insider to talk shop with and without-a-doubt: trying new-fangled drinks. Jamie is always presenting me a idea he’s kicking around or inviting me to try something we just concoct right on the spot. Some of my very original favorite drinks have come from Jamie’s mind and out of the Blue Banana’s bar: The Puptail, Stinger and the Georgia Avenue Punch to name a few. All crafty little drink blessings that if you ever visit my favorite DC drinking haunt, you need to check them out (ask for 2 Stingers, you’re going to order a second anyway…)So, Joe and I were catching up with our cousins and their dog Maybee, hanging out on the back patio of the bar this past Thursday when Jamie asked me what I’d like to drink. Just recently back from my August hiatus, I wanted something fun and original. Something that kinda bridged the gap between summer and fall. We talked through a couple of options and then Jamie’s inspiration caught fire: he mixed some Hubert’s Lemonade brand Cherry Limeade, some fresh lime and some housemade cherry infused Southern Comfort. SIDENOTE: So, did you know that Southern Comfort isn’t actually whiskey? Yeah, no, it’s actually an American liqueur made from natural spirits with fruit, spice and whiskey flavorings. Hm. I found that interesting. Also, the lowest proof you can get is 70 US proof. Or 35% alcohol. I mention this, because I want to accurately describe the flavor of this drink Jamie made. Have you ever had a cherry limeade. A really good one, homemade, strong lime bite, rich cherry flavor, sweet while also tart. Cool, refreshing, summery but grounded? Yeah, well exactly.No. See, that was it. That was this drink. Exactly. A really good, really tasty cherry limeade. Cold, crisp, sweet, delicious… but that was it.Sorry, let me explain. I watched Jamie add the cherry-infused SoCo. It was at least a 2 finger pour. A double shot. And then the juice. And then the fresh lime.It tasted only/just like a cherry limeade.So. At first I thought, “oh, damn. too bad, I wanted to taste some whiskey.” And then the drink was so nice otherwise, I didn’t really care. And on the first few sips, I had thought about going back to joke with Jamie that someone’s been watering down his SoCo.But you see, work has been really busy, and when it’s busy I don’t always remember to eat lunch. So I hadn’t really had anything since my breakfast shake 12 hours earlier.So halfway through the drink I didn’t need to wonder any longer if those two fingers of SoCo were potent enough. They were presenting themselves as so all on their own rather nicely. I was getting slightly light headed and I could feel the fuzzy, amusing onslaught of 70 proof on an empty stomach. All to the tastebuded tune of an unassuming fresh squeezed cherry flavored limeade.That shit is dangerous. So here is the thing. This drink needs a proper name. Jamie didn’t have one off hand and I’m struggling to come up with one. Cherry Bomb already exists, otherwise it would be a contender, trust you me. So I’m asking you for help. You’re welcome to visit the Blue Banana and ask to try one yourself, or by all means I’m sure you’ve had a cherry limeade on your own and can create a taste-related mental picture. This drink is a straight ninja. And it needs a proper name.So please let me know if you have one here. If we pick yours and you’re local, I’ll even toss in a prize. This drink needs to go on their menu and for once I’d like to contribute to the local cannon of the drinking world—even if I get to exploit my readers a bit. This is your chance to take a moment to ride my strange little coat tails to get a little fame yourself. Help me name this drink. Cheers,Ben](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma1lyeqrQz1r8m8f1o1_250.png)
![Woodchuck Hard Cider - FallIf August snuck up on me like a Ninja, September was more like a surprise party: just as unsuspecting, but a little more welcoming and ends with more partying and less painful throwing stars. That is to say, I love the Fall (and sure, my birthday is in September, what of it?)Yes, yes, summer doesn’t technically end until September 21st, but come’on it starts with the joyful screams of children getting out of school on Memorial day and ends with the screamful cries of children going back to those same schools on Labor day. Dates ain’t nothing but a number… [Sidenote: I have always heard that as you get older time goes faster. This is true. Man is it true, apparently. …That’s all. Nothing witty to offer. Gray hair, creaky joints, time flying. (sigh). Oh the truth. …and this ends the sidenote.]So this weekend, Joe and were invited to a Labor Day Weekend pool party & bbq to celebrate the last “working man’s” days of summer. It was at home of Michelle & John. Michelle and Joe are friends from work and so a few of the guests were work friends, folks from out of town and some of Michelle’s family and loved ones. The day was kinda bleak when it came to the weather—frighteningly room temperature, overcast, with no hint of a breeze—but as anyone knows, skewered meat, various chip & dips and a welcoming pool can cure any weather-related problem. Or: just add delicious alcohol. [insert smiley-face wink w/ p-based tongue] Adding alcohol to a party can always cure the blues! OR, sometimes make the blues worse… In certain occasions… ‘Cuz, you know… But… I… look, this blog is not about the perils of drinking. Yet. I’m leaving all options open for a 2nd year. Hey, hey… don’t frown at that last sentence like that… I like having thematic options. Back off.Anyway, last party weekend of the summer, friends, bbq, pool, and drinking. Are you back? Great.We brought some Gentleman Jack and a six-pack of Woodchuck Hard Cider’s Fall to the party. Fall is one of Woodchuck’s seasonal brands. Oh sure, maybe I shouldn’t project my love for fall during the last summer part of the year, but I was feeling fashion-forward and progressive. I know, I know… story of my life.It was a good choice. Spicy with warm nutmeg, cinnamon, just a hint of cloves, vanilla and ripe red apples, the Fall was mulled into a mild, crisp greatness.The alcohol was slight (only 5%), but its clearly an adult drink with the slightest of sophisticated burn. The flavor was that good kinda holiday muddy, the pour feeling thick and lush like a traditional gallon-jug cider you’re used to experiencing after carving pumpkins or decorating the tree. Having said that, it tasted more like Christmas than fall, but it was delicious all the same. Cold mulled cider fit for a sleigh ride to Grandma’s. Again, maybe a little off for a end-of-summer event, but was helping me get excited for the falling leaves all the same. It also helped the atmosphere that I was pretty much meeting everyone for the first time. Joe knew several folks, but they were all new to me.I know! Like the first days of school! (see how it all comes together?) And unlike the first day of school, it was a really nice time. Good food, good people, even a little show and tell (jobs and pet photos). But much like public school, a little alcohol. So huge thanks to Michelle and John for having us all over and helping to properly usher us from summer into fall. And thanks to Woodchuck for providing liquid anticipation. And thanks to Joe for putting up with me and always being my hand-holding fieldtrip buddy in life [insert “awwwwwww”]Cheers,Ben](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9scbhTvJ21r8m8f1o1_250.png)
