The Adventures of a 35yo (Alcohol) Virgin

the-absolute-funniest-posts: blameaspartame: honk honk beep...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 08:46:11 -0400

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

blameaspartame:

honk honk beep beep

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee weeeeeee weeeeeeeeeee weeeeeeee

Goodbye, old friend...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 20:41:14 -0400

So, I just learned that my local drinking haunt, The Blue Banana is no more. Great bar, great...

Nick Kroll is a genius. However, Kroll Show is the worst thing on TV. Worse than Duck Dynasty....

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 21:08:28 -0500

Nick Kroll is a genius. However, Kroll Show is the worst thing on TV. Worse than Duck Dynasty....

vangoghismyboyfriend: So me Well, less “nervous”...

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:08:37 -0500

vangoghismyboyfriend:

So me

Well, less “nervous” and more anxious. And less “breakdown” and more interlude. I’ll be back sooner than later. Promise.

Oh lord, is it New Years already? ughhhhhh. It should go without...

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 21:22:17 -0500

Oh lord, is it New Years already? ughhhhhh. It should go without saying that I went 35 actual years without ever taking a single sip or drink of alcohol. So it shouldn’t be some huge crazy shock that I’m not following the rules (my own) and I’m not only not drinking tonight (that’s not my Yuengling, it’s Joe’s) I’m also not blogging and/or waxing poetic tonight about drinking or the blog.

Not.

I have a few last drinks to get, a few blogs to still post. I’ll get around to them. Don’t worry. DON’T WORRY!!

In the meantime, enjoy my smug cold-medicine-induced face on this chilly DC NYE night. You’re welcome.

Cheers and Happy New Year!
Ben

Ohio is For Lovers (and Drinkers)

Sat, 29 Dec 2012 21:33:13 -0500

I’m back from Ohio with 3 new posts to write instead of 5. I suck. Oh the Holidays. So I have...

The sweet burn of fine southern strawberry moonshine as...

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 17:25:08 -0500

The sweet burn of fine southern strawberry moonshine as experienced with the No Call No Show Podcast boys - pt.2

Where we shamelessly discuss the band Creed, the perverse notion of “human clay”, how Michael’s mom actually listens to these shows (much like my own mom) and more general alcohol adventure highjinks.

Oh and I get slightly introspective and sappy. But fuck that shit, right? Damn moonshine getting me all mushy and crap.

I’m currently (literally) on the road to Ohio where I will be completing about 4 more final drinks on the Adventure so be looking forward to those. I’ll also be posting my special “pregnant” edition of my “The Co-worker” final 10 post… get ready for that one.

Until then enjoy pt.2 of the No Call No Show Podcast:
http://nocallnoshow.podbean.com/2012/12/19/ncns-episode-68-pt2-strawberry-midnight-moonshine

Cheers and Happy Holidays!!!
Ben

Holiday Boozing: Warning Delays Ahead

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 21:51:34 -0500

The holidays and trying to write my blog are not jiving. JIVING - present participle of jive...

Junior Johnson’s Strawberry Midnight Moonshine12.9.2012The...

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:43:31 -0500

Junior Johnson’s Strawberry Midnight Moonshine
12.9.2012
The No Call No Show Podcast

Does everyone hate their voice on the radio? Yeah? Ok good, then I’m not alone. Auuugh, I hate hearing my wretched voice recorded. Insanely.

That aside, feel free to enjoy my husky, squeeky scratch of a voice on my 2nd (and final?) visit with the No Call No Show guys, Daniel and Michael, HERE where we chatter on their podcast on about a dozen or so topics in this Pt.1 of a upcoming 2-parter coming out later this week. Topics such as my first hangover, what I’ve learned about myself while involved in this insane little drinking project, the shame of knowing Creed songs, how many times I can drop the f-bomb in a conversation and much, much more.

Oh, and we tried my very first—but I’m sure not last—taste of moonshine as we drank a little of Junior Johnson’s Strawberry Midnight Moonshine.

SIDENOTE: Did you know that Junior Johnson was not only a famous moonshiner, but also one of the pioneers of NASCAR? Did you have any idea that moonshine was even connected to NASCAR? I bet you’re not shocked, but it’s all packed in the podcast.

I love hanging out with Daniel and Michael. As one of my final drinks on the Adventure, I just couldn’t pass up another chance to sit down with them. They’re just fantastic guys with a great show and it’s always a pleasure spending time chatting about alcohol, DC and general bullshit with them. So enjoy Pt.1 of the podcast and my eye-watering reaction to some delicious strawberry moonshine.

Classy, people. We’re always keeping it fucking classy.

Cheers to the final 10…
Ben

PS: Just wrapped my winter drink, “The Co-Worker” with my good buddy Anna at the POV rooftop bar at the W Hotel, overlooking the amazing views of historic DC. I’ll be putting that blog out later this week, as well as Pt.2 of this moonshine blog with the No Call No Show guys.

Bloody Maria & Eggnog 12.2.2012 No, not at the same...

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 19:49:00 -0500

Bloody Maria & Eggnog
12.2.2012

No, not at the same time; I had them both a few hours apart. Don’t worry. It’s been a while, but if you’ll recall, my last drink prior to these two were during the massive bar crawl/drunken/hangover event from a few weeks ago.

So, while nursing my very first—and terrible—hangover, I was promising God I would never drink again (not my first holy lie…) when Joe reminded me that we were due for brunch with our friends Amanda & Noah where I remembered there would be champagne and tequila.

Oh and juices. It is brunch and all…

So, I crankily poured myself into some jeans and a sweater and we fuzzy-headed over to brunch. There were pancakes, eggs, a few lbs of bacon, sausage and my first Bloody Maria. If you’re not familiar, a Bloody Maria is a Bloody Mary made with tequila instead of vodka. And between you and me, far better.

The tequila adds a little something. A little sweetness, a little richness, a hint of tangy earthiness. I loved it. Noah also stirred in some fantastic spices made for Bloodies that really offered a bit of a peppery punch. Between the pepper and the sweet notes of the tequila, it really created some damn fine balance to offset the rich, creamy salty acidity of the Bloody tomato mixer. Seriously, truly fantastic.

If you’ve never ventured to try Mary’s Mexican sister, you need to. At least once. I won’t tell Mary. Either will Maria. We promise.

Thanks to Noah for the Bloody and to Amanda for the delicious, headache-curing brunch spread. It was the proper way to continue my weekend-long drinking streak and kick off Sunday just right.

So with a little more pep in our walk, we headed back home after brunch, where Joe and I quickly fell into bed, only to take a very long nap. For what it’s worth, you should know that for me, typically, anything less than 2 hours is what I call a “snooze”. A nap implies at least 2-3 hours of blissful, restful dreaming.

Don’t give me that look. I’m a hyperactive adult. The world gets a break when I take a nap. I should literally get paid to take naps. They’re good for everyone.

So almost 4 hours later, Joe and I awoke only to realize we had kinda slept through the front end of our next drink & meal adventure with our good friends and blog regulars, Courtney & Jordan. You might recall that I’ve had a few drinks with Courtney & Jordan… at least 4-5 of them. Maybe more. They’re great Adventurists. I’m glad they were able to make a post for my final set of drinks.

So, in anticipation of spending time with them that evening, I had made a crock-pot of buffalo chicken chili.

Wait. Stop.

This is not a food blog. BUT… if it was. I would tell you the exciting tale of how ridiculous amazing this chili was. Dear lord. Hot, steaming, tangy-spicy buffalo chicken chili, complete with creamy blue cheese crumbles, fresh chopped carrots and celery, salty corn chips and cooling, zesty ranch dressing for toppings.

But, again. Not a food blog. Sorry.

So Jordan was kindly on deck to make homemade eggnog, complete with whiskey. So once we finally go there we were excited to see that Courtney’s sister Emma was there too to enjoy the night with us. Like her sister and brother-in-law, she’s just good, fun people.

We ate delicious chili, played Scattergories and kinda sucked at Catchphrase and then we enjoyed some damn fine homemade eggnog.

I LOVE eggnog. Always have. Always will. So rich and creamy, spicy and cool. I just can’t get enough. I don’t care about the brand, the time of year, I just want to drink my weight in this stuff. So I had no doubt that Jordan’s would be great, let alone the inclusion of one of my very favorites: whiskey.

I was correct. So very correct. You could tell it was homemade, it was so fresh and rather light for being so rich. The whiskey was permeating the smell and the taste in the most fantastic way. It added a warmth I hadn’t anticipated but welcomed. It added some caramely notes that played will with the spices.

It was pretty strong and it was a long, boozy weekend, otherwise, I would have asked for more than one glass. My mind was telling me yes, but my body was telling me no. So I only enjoyed one wonderful glass, but (and know this Jordan) I’m going to want more. Soon. Maybe even in the summer. So keep that family recipe handy. You’re not done yet. Sorry. But consider this your fair warning.

At this point in the day, in the weekend, even with a 4 hour nap, my body was telling me to fuck myself. My liver has stopped speaking to me for hours now. My head was just fuzz. Fuzzy fuzz fuzz, actually. The hand, my arm, my elbow to my shoulder were all actually sore from all the lifting of drinks to my lips.

My lips, actually, was the only one who was fine. Tongue too, I suppose. But the rest of my body had a meeting and overruled those two. Rather quickly. Poor things. Never had a chance.

So we headed home and then poured myself out of my clothes into my birthday suit (you’re welcome visual thinkers!) and then back into the loving arms of my bed.

The next day at work everyone would ask “How was your weekend!?” And I’d just grunt, smile and say “…far too boozy. thanks. yours?” Some of them would smile. Some of them would shake their heads as a secret sort of handshake. All of them were amused.

I like to amuse others. But my liver seems to hate the limelight. That’s Hollywood for ya.

Cheers,
Ben

PS: My final podcast with the No Call No Show boys came out yesterday and I’ll highlight the show and the post sometime tomorrow. Be looking for that. I also enjoyed a wintery drink with “The Co-Worker” (my friend Anna) as one of my last drinks on the Adventure yesterday at one of the coolest, hottest and most beautiful bars in all of DC. Be looking for that post early next week. Until then…

Radio Moonshine, Radio Ga Ga.

Sun, 09 Dec 2012 09:31:16 -0500

I’m pretty pumped right now. I’m about to head over to Nanny O’Briens shortly to...

My first Bar Crawl - My first Public Drunkenness - My first...

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 22:41:00 -0500

My first Bar Crawl - My first Public Drunkenness - My first Hangover

Hey, so please don’t make me recount ALL the drinks. Some, sure. But all 9-10? I just… I just can’t. Partially because I can’t remember and partially because I’m just not strong enough.

And come’on, that’s not really why you’re here. You’re here because you probably heard that I not only attended my first pub crawl, and had 11 drinks in one single night—within 3 hours, actually—but… wait for it… a little longer… got drunk and then had my very first hangover.

Let’s take a moment.

I’m 36 and I got truly, honestly, solidly drunk for the first time and then—for me—thought I was going to kinda die on a Sunday morning. Not die-die, but wanted to kinda die.

But let’s back this up a little and start around 6pm last Saturday night. Oh, come’on, indulge me.

6:00pm - There I was, all decked out in my tacky Christmas sweater t-shirt (they make those now) and getting ready to walk down with Joe and the cousins to the Annual Official Tacky Christmas Sweater Bar Crawl in the DuPont Circle are of DC. It was a really mild night so I barely even needed a jacket.

The night’s set-up is pretty simple: 11 bars and restaurants with drink specials all night for registrants. You get a wristband, a tacky plastic stein, and a map with all the bars and specials to enjoy from 6pm-2am. One fee and then no cover charges, food and drink discounts and hundreds of idiotic patrons wearing their Christmas worst, standing far too close, talking far too loud.

7:30pm - Ok, so first we stopped at The Front Page to check in and get our jeery cheer items. Then it was on to James Hoban’s Irish Restaurant for a pint of Coors and their special “Christmas Shot”. The Coors was ok, kinda bland but still nicely cool and malty. It was a nice chugging beer—we had lots of places to hit, you know. And the shot was this weird mix of cranberry and firewater. Smooth but scorching, quick and tasty.

Moving on, we then quickly hit up the next bar, DC Bread & Brew. Ok, we were in the basement. A basement that I can only describe as a highschool middle class basement. It smelled kinda musty, was over filled and the music was far, far to loud, albeit very fun to dance to. It was here that I had drinks #3 & #4. A delightful cinnamon infused whiskey and coke and my first cherry vodka jello shot. The shot just tasted like tangy jello, but that infused cocktail?! Holy crap. SOOO good. So good. Spicy and smooth and rich and almost creamy. I loved that one. It was very Christmasy.

Yes, Christmasy.

8:30pm - And then it was on to drink #5, place number 3: the Irish Whiskey Public House. Here they had their “Christmas Cocktail”, made with—and don’t quote me—peppermint schnapps, chocolate vodka and Jäger. Just straight alcohol in a full tumbler. It tasted like an Andie’s Mint covered stick of licorice. I loved it.

But by this point, I was apparently loving everything. The music, the artwork, that guy’s sweater, the peach smell of the urinal cakes. They smelled like real peaches when you pee’d on them! They were glorious. The night was super glorious. I mean, sure the ground was moving beneath my feet, but that’s normal right?! Woah, that wall just moved. Who cares! I love Tacky Christmas Bar Crawl!

Where were we going next? Who cares! What are they serving?! I’m thirsty! So then we stopped into the Black Rooster where we got some mediocre nachos and I had two “shooters” or what I’d like to call, drinks #6 & #7. I remember loudly asking how shooters were different than shots and then just being glad they tasted like caramel apples. Mmmmmm. And what are THEY eating? That looks good over there. This music is great. Wait, this song SUCKS! Ugh. This dj sucks. Oh. I love this song. I have to pee. That bathroom doesn’t smell as nice, let’s get out of here…

9:30pm - BOGO donuts and Krispy Kreme on the crawl?! Then let’s all buy 6! Yay! Nat and Chris loved this, Joe seemed indifferent. I want one of each. Oh, right, only 6. Ok. Hey, that guy has the same tacky Christmas sweater t-shirt as me! Lets get a picture! Where are we going now?! There are so many people SO MANY PEOPLE… what time is it, oh look those guys are dressed like Christmas trees… this night is awesome. I love Joe’s beard.

DAmn, the Mad Hatter is a HUGE bar. Its all tiny outside and big and loud inside. I’ll take a vodka tonic, please. Drink #8. Mmmm, I love tonic. Ok, I’ll take another. This place is loud and busy. Oh, and the upstairs bar is being closed for a private party?! What?! That’s dumb. We have to leave? Whatever man. it’s cool. it’s cool. Whatevr.

10:00pm - Oh my god, we are walking forever and I’m tired. What time is it? Where are we going? Oh, Maddy’s Bar & Grille. Oh fun, we’re meeting Nat & Chris’ friends Mike & Mary. They’re really nice. Are we still drinking? Ugh, they only have beer. I don’t want beer. I want a Tequila Sunrise. I want tequila. I love tequila. and it has a cherry! it’s hot in here. Yeah, I’ll take another. Did we order another? drinks #9 and #10? Maybe just #9? Who cares. ugh. why is it so hot? this t-shirt feels like a sweater. I’m so tired.

Joe’s tired too, let’s grab a Uber and head home. I’m so excited to go home and see my bed. I love Joe. I need to tell him a few times. So he knows. So he never forgets. I love him.

12:30am - I loooooove my bed. Love. Yay. Yay for my bed.

ZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

…

7:00am - oh. fuck. what. is. happening. to. me. ?

I’m dying. So this is it. This is a hangover. Oh dear lord. Your head really does pound. It really, truly does. I always thought it was just a phrase. Oh god, I need to stop thinking about things. It hurts. What will make this end? Prayer? Water? Coffee? More prayer?

Does it matter if I wager that “I’ll never do this again, Lord!”? I’ve never done it before. I’ll literally never probably do it again, honestly. What else can I barter to make me less nauseous and for the room to stop spinning? The cats? My first born? My ability to whistle in perfect pitch? I’m game. Make it stop.

Make. it. stop.

Please.

Water, vitamins, Advil, water; repeat. This was my breakfast. I’m not sure what else to say. It was pretty terrible. I felt my age. I mean, look, between my adult acne, my teenage-like swearing, pudgy dimples and hyperactive demeanor I often look like and feel like a much younger man. But that morning I was feeling 36, going on 80. That crap gets into your joints, your brain, and your brain. Oh, and into your brain.

It was craptastic. Seriously, never again. NEVER AGAIN.

Oh. We’re having brunch in a few hours with friends? Mimosas and Bloody Mary’s you say? Ok, let me get some more water, a Advil chaser and throw on some fresh clothes.

I hope there’s pancakes.

Cheers,
Ben

NEXT UP: My first brunch Bloody Maria (tequila instead of vodka) and an evening with friends later that night to enjoy my first homemade eggnog w/ whiskey. Nope, I’m not evening kidding.

The pub crawl into hangover blog is coming… not tonight, but it’s coming. Dear lord,...

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 22:31:26 -0500

The pub crawl into hangover blog is coming… not tonight, but it’s coming. Dear lord,...

Joined the Annual DC Tacky Christmas Sweater Bar Crawl and...

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 00:17:54 -0500

Joined the Annual DC Tacky Christmas Sweater Bar Crawl and visited 9 bars in one night, enjoying 11 drinks. An Adventure first. Got a little drunk. And the photo represents my response to all the dumb “responsible drinking” rules posted at the crawl. Full blog coming soon. Get ready…

PS: brunch drinks tomorrow and a dinner with friends that involves boozy eggnog. Saying goodbye to the blog is becoming crazy fun.

Try not to be too shocked, but it’s looking like I will be...

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 21:57:27 -0500

Try not to be too shocked, but it’s looking like I will be adding a few more pours & pounds to my final 10 drinks, which, if you know anything about math, means it’ll be more than 10 final drinks before this is all over.

Stupid math.

Yay for you, boo for my liver.

In addition, I’ve already made a few adjustments to my final drinks. For one, I’m adding another friend to one of my final drink lists, that I’m now referring to as “The Author & The Artist” - bringing two of my high school friends together for one big drinkfest in my high school hometown of Bumfuck, Ohio. Only they could drag me back. And that’s saying something.

Also, I’m adding a final drink with Jamie from the Blue Banana, as he’s been such a huge supporter and good friend. I’m letting him make me one last crazy-ass drink. ...What am I thinking?

And there is talk of spiked eggnog this weekend with friends… a drink with some stalkers… drinks with my cousins… so yeah, the math is winning. Stupid math.

Cheers,
Ben

do you have a finished list of all the drinks you've had?/ plan to finish with these last few?

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 21:35:23 -0500

Hey! I’m working on an official finished list, but I did post my first 100+ here:...

Smirnoff Ice Raspberry BurstThe Final 10 Adventures“The...

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 21:07:00 -0500

Smirnoff Ice Raspberry Burst
The Final 10 Adventures
“The Sibling”

With my drinking Adventure coming to a close, it was time to kick off my final ten drinks with my oldest sister, Elizabeth. She’s been a huge fan of the blog and of this project since the very beginning and it had basically been a year since we’d seen each other so sharing a drink over the Thanksgiving weekend was basically going to be both the first and last chance during the year this was going to happen.

And so, I bring you… my first drink of Smirnoff Ice Raspberry Burst. Yep. I got my ice’ on. We both just wanted something delicious and fun. We were in a great mood, it was the Saturday after Thanksgiving and it was the evening at a dinner of chili dogs, baked beans and mac&cheese. Wine just didn’t seem right.

If you’ll indulge me, let me back it up about 33 years. It was 1979 and I was loving life. I was 2, milk and gas were super cheap, politics were simple… and then she came along. Mess’n everything up and stuff. My stupid sister.

I mean, yeah, she was cute and tiny and sweet, and she made me the big brother of the house, but that’s not the point. I mean we had a dog. I was kinda like a big brother to him, so she was kinda unnecessary. I mean, right? Right.

So when life hands you lemons, as they say. So flash forward a couple of years, parents divorce, aunts move in, life gets a little more complicated and it brings my sister and I closer together because in a weird way we only had each other. We learned to cope together and it forever bonded us.

Life is sometimes a funny mix of circles. Through the years my sister and I kept falling in and out of friendship, in and out of circles within our lives. Elementary school to high school, college to post-college, in our early 20’s and now in our mid 30’s. We had some rocky years and some great years. In the past decade, we’ve both had exciting, significant changes in our lives and we’ve grown together through them.

We’ve both gotten married, we’ve both purchased homes, we’ve both moved out of state and started a series of new personal, educational and career adventures. So much in common, but as my mom likes to point out: Elizabeth beat me to starting a family. However, I still swear my 2 cats are like children minus the back-talk, midnight feedings and diaper changes. All in due time… all in due time…

So in a way, my sister is my original best friend, good times and bad, happy times and sad, she’s always been there. So—without a very doubt—she needed to join me on the Adventure. Like most of my family, my sister has always been an avid, unquestioning supporter of my lack of drinking. I never needed to explain anything to her. She was always just cool as hell. Just like when I started this blog, she was super supportive, totally cool about it, big fan.

And so it was time for our drink.

“What do you want to drink?”
“I don’t care, something tasty. Something fun.”
“Oh my god, I have some Smirnoff Ice! I have one left!”
“Oh yes, this is happening yes! We can share!”

Like I said, hotdogs and beans. I poured my sister about an inch worth in her mason jar and enjoyed the rest of the bottle myself. You know, I was totally surprised by this drink. It virtually didn’t have even a hint of alcohol. It tasted like a watery raspberry snowcone. It was pretty badass. I could have drank an entire 6pack and not blinked.

It was thirst quenching, highly sweet, nicely fresh and a hint of citrus tartness that really made it quite summery on this cold, post-Thanksgiving Saturday. Would I buy another again? Not proudly, but yeah, probably. Why lie. It was like my first Mike’s Hard Lemonade, super tasty and thereby super re-drinkable.

My sister mentioned that the Mango and Raspberry flavors were the best. And I have no doubt. In fact, I’m sure that when my sister, brother-in-law and niece come visit DC this spring, I’ll have at least one 6pack stocked in the fridge. Get ready, Elizabeth.

So cheers to my once yucky, often bratty, and now awesome sister and original best friend, Elizabeth. This drink wasn’t just with you, but for you.

Love & Cheers,
Ben

Final 10, a preview

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 21:57:00 -0500

Holy crap! The final 10 drinks on the Adventure have been decided! I’ve reached out to just...

10 To Go: The Final Countdown…”They speak of my...

Sun, 11 Nov 2012 09:51:22 -0500

10 To Go: The Final Countdown…

”They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.” ~Scottish Proverb

Self promotion is kinda gross. I’m not going to lie to you and suggest this year-long drinking adventure was exclusively about the alcohol itself. I was a unique, fun vehicle to support my desire to write and connect with others while doing something noteworthy and ~~hopefully~~ entertaining.

“Are you done with writing the blog? I really liked reading it.” A frequent, mixed company question these days. On one hand the question is jarring. People are really reading this? On the other, it’s flattering. People are really reading this.

I was fully invested. 100+ drinks in, I was a machine. Drink, write, post; repeat. And then I was writing about scotch. And I hit a wall. I can’t quite explain it. The drink was decidedly different than others, but I felt like I was writing about the same damn thing. Over and over. And fucking over. And it caught up with me, this writing new things about a very similar subject matter, week after week, drink after drink, post after post.

A good writing friend of mine, Virginia (a well-known published author), had applauded me early on with a forewarning, suggesting that taking on the challenge of writing about the same subject over and over can become mind-numbing.

Virginia - I thank you for this not only because when it happened, I felt comforted by knowing I wasn’t just losing a battle with myself, but because when I started to feel the numbing set in, I felt prepared.

Now look, that is not to say I was not fully interested and invested in trying to finish this thing. I most certainly was. am. will? Anyway… But given the grand appeal alcohol has with the ~~general public~~ everyone (but apparently not me for so many, many years), the Adventures of a 35yo Alcohol Virgin was an opportunity wrapped in an experience and then fried in public interest. Mmmmm.

And apparently the oil is still hot, and the opportunity still ample, but I’ve run out of batter. Wait. No, yeah, I’ll use that. I’m going with batter. Smirk and wince as you may.

I fancy myself a writer, you see. I’ve been writing for many many years, but quietly, painstakingly and sometimes with regrets. I’ve been writing/re-writing/editing the same novel for 16 years, I’ve worked on penning and developing half a dozen children’s books, sketched notes for a few screenplays, have written scores of poetry, short stories, and I’ve even been known to write comedic headlines and pop-cultural jokes on occasion… but all in a private little fog.

Why am I sharing this? I’m weird about my writing. I’m proud of much of it, but scared to show it. It’s become almost too personal. I’m too attached. I’m worried about what you’ll think.

Exercising my inner alcohol virgin has helped changed that.

Forcing myself to turn a blog around in less than 24 hours most of the time was life-changing. No, seriously.

I’m a toiler with my writings, my art. I write then edit, then write then edit, then edit, then re-write, then edit. Then completely start over with the same concept in a 3rd person or with a new tone or a brand new composition… and then edit again.

This was forcing me to be real-time-oriented. To be real and raw and honest in a very different way knowing that I was doing something new, but knowing you were going to read this forced me to be real and raw and honest because this information wasn’t new to you. Bourbon tastes caramely, like burnt cola, the sweetest of burns but packs a punch in your sinuses that hints a cherry, tobacco and copper, but then it’s gone like a whisper.

YOU know this. I’m just learning, sharing. I had to trust myself and write what was really happening and not make up a story from my head. And for me, that’s hard.

Anyway.

“Are you done with writing the blog? No. There will be 10 new, final drinks between now and January 1st, 2013.

Ten final drinks with 10 people. Friends, family and maybe even a stranger or two. Who knows. I’m already planning a few specific ones. But these final 10 will be drinks I have not had yet and they will be written by me, sharing the drink but also a few notes about who I’m having them with, our mutual experience and the bond this drink is creating.

The final 10. The final countdown. 126 drinks in total.

And then it’s on to something different. I don’t know what. School for sure, maybe a new writing project. Hell, maybe I’ll finally finish my children’s book The Underground Flower. I don’t know. And quit giving me that look. Back off. I’m thinking…

So, they’re coming—the final 10. I have a month and a half to get this done. Lordy. I hope you’ll join me for the final few. I’m excited to do this and happy to end this in all the right ways.

Cheers,
Ben

PS: Oh! And I’m going back to adding photos of me drinking the drink for the final 10. It’s the least I can do. I know you miss seeing my ruddy fucking face.

The End?

Sun, 14 Oct 2012 19:06:00 -0400

“Is the blog over? Where have you been?” No, not yet. Yes I have been quite absent. And...