The Adventures of a 35yo (Alcohol) Virgin

hit counter
hit counter At 35 years old, I had never tasted, tried or drank an alcoholic drink of any kind. During 2012 that all changes drink by drink and you get to enjoy the results post by post.

Permalink The sweet burn of fine southern strawberry moonshine as experienced with the No Call No Show Podcast boys - pt.2  Where we shamelessly discuss the band Creed, the perverse notion of “human clay”, how Michael’s mom actually listens to these shows (much like my own mom) and more general alcohol adventure highjinks. Oh and I get slightly introspective and sappy. But fuck that shit, right? Damn moonshine getting me all mushy and crap. I’m currently (literally) on the road to Ohio where I will be completing about 4 more final drinks on the Adventure so be looking forward to those. I’ll also be posting my special “pregnant” edition of my “The Co-worker” final 10 post… get ready for that one. Until then enjoy pt.2 of the No Call No Show Podcast: http://nocallnoshow.podbean.com/2012/12/19/ncns-episode-68-pt2-strawberry-midnight-moonshine Cheers and Happy Holidays!!! Ben
Permalink Junior Johnson’s Strawberry Midnight Moonshine12.9.2012The No Call No Show PodcastDoes everyone hate their voice on the radio? Yeah? Ok good, then I’m not alone. Auuugh, I hate hearing my wretched voice recorded. Insanely.That aside, feel free to enjoy my husky, squeeky scratch of a voice on my 2nd (and final?) visit with the No Call No Show guys, Daniel and Michael, HERE where we chatter on their podcast on about a dozen or so topics in this Pt.1 of a upcoming 2-parter coming out later this week.  Topics such as my first hangover, what I’ve learned about myself while involved in this insane little drinking project, the shame of knowing Creed songs, how many times I can drop the f-bomb in a conversation and much, much more.Oh, and we tried my very first—but I’m sure not last—taste of moonshine as we drank a little of Junior Johnson’s Strawberry Midnight Moonshine. SIDENOTE: Did you know that Junior Johnson was not only a famous moonshiner, but also one of the pioneers of NASCAR? Did you have any idea that moonshine was even connected to NASCAR? I bet you’re not shocked, but it’s all packed in the podcast. I love hanging out with Daniel and Michael. As one of my final drinks on the Adventure, I just couldn’t pass up another chance to sit down with them. They’re just fantastic guys with a great show and it’s always a pleasure spending time chatting about alcohol, DC and general bullshit with them. So enjoy Pt.1 of the podcast and my eye-watering reaction to some delicious strawberry moonshine. Classy, people. We’re always keeping it fucking classy.Cheers to the final 10…BenPS: Just wrapped my winter drink, “The Co-Worker” with my good buddy Anna at the POV rooftop bar at the W Hotel, overlooking the amazing views of historic DC. I’ll be putting that blog out later this week, as well as Pt.2 of this moonshine blog with the No Call No Show guys.
Permalink

Radio Moonshine, Radio Ga Ga.

I’m pretty pumped right now. I’m about to head over to Nanny O’Briens shortly to tape my 2nd and final podcast show over at the No Call No Show with the chatty bartending boys, Michael & Daniel.  This is one of the final 10 I named “The Co-Hosts”.

My first visit was a great one (a 2-parter no less) and they asked me to come by one final time to talk drinking, blogging, and madness over my first taste of moonshine.

Dear lord, please let it be fruit flavored. With a beer back. And a juice chaser.

I’m bringing a toothbrush.

So I’ll let you all know when the podcast drops, but this is a great opportunity to catch up on some of my older posts and to hear my terrible radio voice. And by terrible I mean, not horrible, but I doubt anyone is going to call me to do voice-over or book-on-tape work. *sigh*

Cheers,
Ben

Permalink My first Bar Crawl - My first Public Drunkenness - My first HangoverHey, so please don’t make me recount ALL the drinks. Some, sure. But all 9-10? I just… I just can’t. Partially because I can’t remember and partially because I’m just not strong enough.And come’on, that’s not really why you’re here. You’re here because you probably heard that I not only attended my first pub crawl, and had 11 drinks in one single night—within 3 hours, actually—but… wait for it… a little longer… got drunk and then had my very first hangover.Let’s take a moment. I’m 36 and I got truly, honestly, solidly drunk for the first time and then—for me—thought I was going to kinda die on a Sunday morning. Not die-die, but wanted to kinda die. But let’s back this up a little and start around 6pm last Saturday night. Oh, come’on, indulge me.6:00pm - There I was, all decked out in my tacky Christmas sweater t-shirt (they make those now) and getting ready to walk down with Joe and the cousins to the Annual Official Tacky Christmas Sweater Bar Crawl in the DuPont Circle are of DC. It was a really mild night so I barely even needed a jacket.The night’s set-up is pretty simple: 11 bars and restaurants with drink specials all night for registrants. You get a wristband, a tacky plastic stein, and a map with all the bars and specials to enjoy from 6pm-2am. One fee and then no cover charges, food and drink discounts and hundreds of idiotic patrons wearing their Christmas worst, standing far too close, talking far too loud.7:30pm - Ok, so first we stopped at The Front Page to check in and get our jeery cheer items. Then it was on to James Hoban’s Irish Restaurant for a pint of Coors and their special “Christmas Shot”. The Coors was ok, kinda bland but still nicely cool and malty. It was a nice chugging beer—we had lots of places to hit, you know. And the shot was this weird mix of cranberry and firewater. Smooth but scorching, quick and tasty.Moving on, we then quickly hit up the next bar, DC Bread & Brew. Ok, we were in the basement. A basement that I can only describe as a highschool middle class basement. It smelled kinda musty, was over filled and the music was far, far to loud, albeit very fun to dance to.  It was here that I had drinks #3 & #4. A delightful cinnamon infused whiskey and coke and my first cherry vodka jello shot. The shot just tasted like tangy jello, but that infused cocktail?! Holy crap. SOOO good. So good. Spicy and smooth and rich and almost creamy. I loved that one. It was very Christmasy.Yes, Christmasy.8:30pm - And then it was on to drink #5, place number 3: the Irish Whiskey Public House. Here they had their “Christmas Cocktail”, made with—and don’t quote me—peppermint schnapps, chocolate vodka and Jäger. Just straight alcohol in a full tumbler. It tasted like an Andie’s Mint covered stick of licorice. I loved it. But by this point, I was apparently loving everything. The music, the artwork, that guy’s sweater, the peach smell of the urinal cakes. They smelled like real peaches when you pee’d on them! They were glorious. The night was super glorious. I mean, sure the ground was moving beneath my feet, but that’s normal right?! Woah, that wall just moved. Who cares! I love Tacky Christmas Bar Crawl! Where were we going next? Who cares! What are they serving?! I’m thirsty! So then we stopped into the Black Rooster where we got some mediocre nachos and I had two “shooters” or what I’d like to call, drinks #6 & #7. I remember loudly asking how shooters were different than shots and then just being glad they tasted like caramel apples. Mmmmmm. And what are THEY eating? That looks good over there. This music is great. Wait, this song SUCKS! Ugh. This dj sucks. Oh. I love this song. I have to pee. That bathroom doesn’t smell as nice, let’s get out of here…9:30pm - BOGO donuts and Krispy Kreme on the crawl?! Then let’s all buy 6! Yay! Nat and Chris loved this, Joe seemed indifferent. I want one of each. Oh, right, only 6. Ok. Hey, that guy has the same tacky Christmas sweater t-shirt as me! Lets get a picture! Where are we going now?! There are so many people SO MANY PEOPLE… what time is it, oh look those guys are dressed like Christmas trees… this night is awesome. I love Joe’s beard.DAmn, the Mad Hatter is a HUGE bar. Its all tiny outside and big and loud inside. I’ll take a vodka tonic, please. Drink #8. Mmmm, I love tonic. Ok, I’ll take another. This place is loud and busy. Oh, and the upstairs bar is being closed for a private party?! What?! That’s dumb. We have to leave? Whatever man. it’s cool. it’s cool. Whatevr.10:00pm - Oh my god, we are walking forever and I’m tired. What time is it? Where are we going? Oh, Maddy’s Bar & Grille. Oh fun, we’re meeting Nat & Chris’ friends Mike & Mary. They’re really nice. Are we still drinking? Ugh, they only have beer. I don’t want beer. I want a Tequila Sunrise. I want tequila. I love tequila. and it has a cherry! it’s hot in here. Yeah, I’ll take another. Did we order another? drinks #9 and #10? Maybe just #9? Who cares. ugh. why is it so hot? this t-shirt feels like a sweater. I’m so tired.Joe’s tired too, let’s grab a Uber and head home. I’m so excited to go home and see my bed. I love Joe. I need to tell him a few times. So he knows. So he never forgets. I love him.12:30am - I loooooove my bed. Love. Yay. Yay for my bed.ZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz…7:00am - oh. fuck. what. is. happening. to. me. ?I’m dying. So this is it. This is a hangover. Oh dear lord. Your head really does pound. It really, truly does. I always thought it was just a phrase. Oh god, I need to stop thinking about things. It hurts. What will make this end? Prayer? Water? Coffee? More prayer?Does it matter if I wager that “I’ll never do this again, Lord!”? I’ve never done it before. I’ll literally never probably do it again, honestly. What else can I barter to make me less nauseous and for the room to stop spinning? The cats? My first born? My ability to whistle in perfect pitch? I’m game. Make it stop.Make. it. stop. Please. Water, vitamins, Advil, water; repeat. This was my breakfast. I’m not sure what else to say. It was pretty terrible. I felt my age. I mean, look, between my adult acne, my teenage-like swearing, pudgy dimples and hyperactive demeanor I often look like and feel like a much younger man. But that morning I was feeling 36, going on 80. That crap gets into your joints, your brain, and your brain. Oh, and into your brain.It was craptastic. Seriously, never again. NEVER AGAIN. Oh. We’re having brunch in a few hours with friends? Mimosas and Bloody Mary’s you say? Ok, let me get some more water, a Advil chaser and throw on some fresh clothes.I hope there’s pancakes.Cheers,BenNEXT UP: My first brunch Bloody Maria (tequila instead of vodka) and an evening with friends later that night to enjoy my first homemade eggnog w/ whiskey. Nope, I’m not evening kidding.
Permalink 10 To Go: The Final Countdown…”They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.”  ~Scottish ProverbSelf promotion is kinda gross. I’m not going to lie to you and suggest this year-long drinking adventure was exclusively about the alcohol itself. I was a unique, fun vehicle to support my desire to write and connect with others while doing something noteworthy and hopefully entertaining. “Are you done with writing the blog? I really liked reading it.” A frequent, mixed company question these days. On one hand the question is jarring. People are really reading this? On the other, it’s flattering. People are really reading this.I was fully invested. 100+ drinks in, I was a machine. Drink, write, post; repeat. And then I was writing about scotch. And I hit a wall. I can’t quite explain it. The drink was decidedly different than others, but I felt like I was writing about the same damn thing. Over and over. And fucking over. And it caught up with me, this writing new things about a very similar subject matter, week after week, drink after drink, post after post.A good writing friend of mine, Virginia (a well-known published author), had applauded me early on with a forewarning, suggesting that taking on the challenge of writing about the same subject over and over can become mind-numbing. Virginia - I thank you for this not only because when it happened, I felt comforted by knowing I wasn’t just losing a battle with myself, but because when I started to feel the numbing set in, I felt prepared. Now look, that is not to say I was not fully interested and invested in trying to finish this thing. I most certainly was. am. will? Anyway… But given the grand appeal alcohol has with the general public everyone (but apparently not me for so many, many years), the Adventures of a 35yo Alcohol Virgin was an opportunity wrapped in an experience and then fried in public interest. Mmmmm.And apparently the oil is still hot, and the opportunity still ample, but I’ve run out of batter. Wait. No, yeah, I’ll use that. I’m going with batter. Smirk and wince as you may.I fancy myself a writer, you see. I’ve been writing for many many years, but quietly, painstakingly and sometimes with regrets. I’ve been writing/re-writing/editing the same novel for 16 years, I’ve worked on penning and developing half a dozen children’s books, sketched notes for a few screenplays, have written scores of poetry, short stories, and I’ve even been known to write comedic headlines and pop-cultural jokes on occasion… but all in a private little fog.Why am I sharing this? I’m weird about my writing. I’m proud of much of it, but scared to show it. It’s become almost too personal. I’m too attached. I’m worried about what you’ll think. Exercising my inner alcohol virgin has helped changed that.Forcing myself to turn a blog around in less than 24 hours most of the time was life-changing. No, seriously. I’m a toiler with my writings, my art.  I write then edit, then write then edit, then edit, then re-write, then edit. Then completely start over with the same concept in a 3rd person or with a new tone or a brand new composition… and then edit again.This was forcing me to be real-time-oriented. To be real and raw and honest in a very different way knowing that I was doing something new, but knowing you were going to read this forced me to be real and raw and honest because this information wasn’t new to you. Bourbon tastes caramely, like burnt cola, the sweetest of burns but packs a punch in your sinuses that hints a cherry, tobacco and copper, but then it’s gone like a whisper.YOU know this. I’m just learning, sharing. I had to trust myself and write what was really happening and not make up a story from my head. And for me, that’s hard.Anyway.“Are you done with writing the blog? No. There will be 10 new, final drinks between now and January 1st, 2013. Ten final drinks with 10 people. Friends, family and maybe even a stranger or two. Who knows. I’m already planning a few specific ones. But these final 10 will be drinks I have not had yet and they will be written by me, sharing the drink but also a few notes about who I’m having them with, our mutual experience and the bond this drink is creating.The final 10. The final countdown. 126 drinks in total. And then it’s on to something different. I don’t know what. School for sure, maybe a new writing project. Hell, maybe I’ll finally finish my children’s book The Underground Flower. I don’t know. And quit giving me that look. Back off. I’m thinking…So, they’re coming—the final 10. I have a month and a half to get this done. Lordy. I hope you’ll join me for the final few. I’m excited to do this and happy to end this in all the right ways.Cheers,Ben PS: Oh! And I’m going back to adding photos of me drinking the drink for the final 10. It’s the least I can do. I know you miss seeing my ruddy fucking face.
Permalink 12 year Scotch(clears throat) Webster’s Online Dictionary defines “sophisticated” as of a person, ideas, tastes, manners, etc. altered by education, experience, etc., so as to be worldly-wise; not naive.Uh huh.And yet 100+ drinks into this project and I would still argue I don’t feel sophisticated. I could chalk it up to my love for fruity drinks, perhaps. But also I think it’s because I’m a little afraid of the drinks on the more, adult side of the spectrum. You’ll note I haven’t had a proper Martini yet. Nor a Manhattan. Nor some of the stodgier wines. And while I feel fancy enough to use words like “nor”, I’ve been pretty quick to avoid items like Scotch, Brandy and Gin.On one hand, I could tell you “It’s like any other drinking; I’m working my way up, building an appreciation, trying to develop a sense of maturity and climax commonly associated with traditional drinkers about my age. This is all part of the plan.”But that would be a convenient lie.Would look great on paper. Would make me seem like I’m really building some method to my madness, but nope. Its not at all the truth. The truth is, I’m really intimated by these drinks. I’m deeply afraid I’ll hate them. And rooted in that fear is the anxiety that it’ll be a weird, uncomfortable reflection of my lack of maturity and sophistication in the form of alcoholic-preference.I know this sounds kinda dumb. I’m well known for liking more than my fair share of fart jokes, reality television, kitten memes, cool ranch Doritos, and generic pop songs. So why care about this?But deep in my soul I sometimes want to connect deeply with things that perplex me. I spent 35 years actively avoiding this stuff. So now that I’m actively pursuing it, I want to really connect with it. Not down the rabbit hole, mind you. But from both an academic and engagement perspective I want to explore it and understand it and feel smart about it.And the fear that I might hate it—or worse—hate it because I can’t relate to it, kinda freaks me out. So. Here we are, and I’ve decided to really take this project to the next level and start to drink and explore a little more sophistication. A little more couth. Drinks that make me want to wear a monocle, smoke a pipe and train a monkey—who I call a butler—to fetch my dry cleaning and caviar. Look, I can’t get TOO sophisticated. I am me for fuck sake.So anyway, I started this next level in the Adventure by leaping forward and trying my first Scotch. Joe and I were out to a nice family dinner with our cousins Natalie & Chris at Againn. An upscale British restaurant, Againn had a really fantastic Scotch menu and I knew I needed to take full advantage.I asked our Waitress for a great, solid “starter Scotch”. Nothing too crazy, nothing too expensive. I wanted a proper freshman experience, of the college kind, not the high school variety.So I received a Macallan 12 year single malt Scotch. The smell was a delight. Fragrant, sharp, burnt caramel and pungent like gasoline, the Scotch had a sweet caramel, earthy smell—but I knew it wouldn’t be sweet.Pow! Right in the kisser! Shrewdly sharp on the forefront, it just slaps you like an open fist. Strong caramel, coffee, earthy fire in the middle, it ends beautifully with a leathery-smooth finish. There were touches of moss, and the lightest note of copper or tin in its wake, giving you one more reason to wince nicely. When I first saw the single finger in the glass, I was thinking I was getting ripped off. Nope. This is as manly as you can apparently feel while sipping a drink. Trust this. Granted, I’m still the virgin, but it lasted my entire meal.And I really like it. Really liked it. Had a bourbon/whiskey feel but with a few more layers, a few more beats. The alcohol had a more sturdy story to tell, not just a statement to make. It’s not an everyday drink, but it’s a celebration drink. Maybe a damn-this-was-a-long-ass week, drink.And it made me feel a little sophisticated. Slightly refined. But above all else, it made me feel confident. And it helped set the tone for a new leg of my journey. A chance to see how 35 years of age translates in both directions.That said, I mean look, I’m not giving up my kool-aide, milkshakes and Mountain Dew Code Red. I mean, come’on people. I’m growing, not dying.Cheers to adulthood, n’ stuff.Ben
Permalink Four LokoI’m a social creature. I like my alone time and using the bathroom with the door closed and listening to my ipod via headphones, but 98% of the time, I’m a very social creature. This is the appeal of the blog, twitter and certainly facebook. Tools I like to use to joke with, interact with and get feedback on the fly.  So, you know… when I ask a question on twitter like “hey what should I drink now that I’m back off the wagon?” and I don’t get any responses?  I make bad decisions. And you’re to blame. Yes, you. You are to blame for Four Loko. You. Not me. You. You know, I remember the scuttlebutt around Four Loko a while back with it’s apparent appeal to kids and it’s fun fruit flavors and bright colors and tall, fun can. They were billing themselves more as energy drinks than alcoholic drinks, apparently. So they were sued and had to change everything. And by everything they put “contains alcohol” in 16pt bold font and removed the caffeine. Oh yes, I can see where this fixed everything. It’s very adult now. I totally see that.So as I was in Lion’s Liquor & Spirits deciding between lemonade, blue raspberry and fruit punch, I was also trying to figure out where but at a paintball park their hypercolor camouflage cans would blend. Maybe a clown murder scene? Yeah, that seems right.    I settled on watermelon. Again, you are to blame. 24oz of light pink liquid, 12% alcohol. So, yes, it’s not a kid’s drink. It’s barely a responsiblie adult’s drink. Oh wait. Are you a Juggalo or a pedophile or a 42yo recently divorced guy that’s trying to wear skinny jeans and impress his teenage kids with the drinks in his fridge?  Then, I’m sorry. My apologies. This drink is totally for you. This drink was damn near made for you. It smelled like someone poured gasoline into a watermelon. But in a good way? The watermelon flavor was like Hubba-Bubba gum watermelon: sweet, lush, fake, syrupy and delicious. The alcohol sneaks up on you. It’s highly malty, tangy and bold in it’s yeasty finish. Just shy of refreshing if it didn’t have that karate chop to the throat. As I was drinking it, at home, just chilling with the husband, Joe suggested to keep our eyes peeled for NBC Dateline’s Chris Hansen to show up at our side door, compete with tv crew, asking me why I was here and if my parents were home.No such entertaining luck. Just a quickly warming can and a slight buzz brewing after just 1/3rd into this firstdrink. This stuff sneaks up on you. And I’m a 200lb+ grown man. But no regrets. Well, some regrets. But again—I stress—if only people had suggested something, anything, I would have maybe made a better decision. So I need your suggestions. I’m 4 months away from ending this little goofball project. So send me your best suggestions!  I’m for-sure trying Heineken this weekend, but anything after that leading up to December 31st is still up for grabs outside of the 100+ drinks I’ve already tried since January. And I’m done with Four Loko. Well, pretty sure. There is rumor they have a sour-apple flavor. I’m not going to lie… no you know what? I’m AM going to lie. That sounds terrible. I’m never going to try it. Ever. Gross. (this is all your fault)Cheers my friends, BenPS: Hiatus over! From now until next year, I’m going to get in my 2-4 new drinks a week and blog blog blog. If you were hoping to share a drink & a story with me to try or together, let me know. Half the fun of this project is sharing the favorite drinks with friends and family.
Permalink

Forgive my little hiatus…

… I just needed a break from myself and the drinking. Nothing major, I’ve just written about 100+ posts in 7+ months and I felt like I was repeating myself, going a bit through-the-motions on several posts as of late and I needed to recharge a little. I’m not whining, but it’s kind of a bitch doing this much writing on a single subject. I’ve loved it, but it started to feel like work. And screw that, right?  Eh, I’m in a mood. So I’m resting up and then I’ll kick things back off with new drinks new stories and new awkward glimpses into my odd little life just before the start of September. I promise.

But in the meantime, I thought I quell any discontent and remind you of the 100 or so drinks I’ve enjoyed and a link to their stories at the bottom. I’m sure I’ve had a few of your favorites and several you might have never even heard of, complete with a silly, stirring or strange little story attached. And as always, if you notice a drink I should be having, make sure to send that suggestion my way. Your drunken choices are my future stories.

Cheers, my friends, cheers…

  • Champagne
  • mimosa
  • Bud Light
  • vodka & soda
  • sangria blanca
  • moscato wine
  • Corona w/ lime
  • Amaretto Sour
  • Yuengling
  • Chardonnay
  • Old Fashioned
  • Magic Hat #9
  • Kamazee shot
  • Woodchuck Amber Cider
  • Tom Collins
  • New Castle
  • Port(s)
  • Pabst Blue Ribbon
  • Sauvigon Blanc
  • Puptail
  • Pinot Noir
  • Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat
  • Hurricane
  • Merlot
  • Flaming Volcano
  • Fat Tire Amber Ale
  • Asahi Japanese Beer
  • Saki
  • BBC
  • Smoked Sour Apple
  • Nutty Rum
  • Guinness
  • vodka gimlet
  • Michelob Ultra
  • Gentleman Jack & coke
  • Killian’s Irish Red
  • Pimms Cup
  • Frozen Cobbler
  • Stinger
  • 4 Wines Flight
  • Cool Cucumber (Bloody Mary)
  • Stella Artois
  • Vanilla Cherry Coke
  • Butterynipple shot
  • Anchor Steam Beer
  • Bailey’s Irish Cream
  • Strawberry Daiquiri
  • Jager shots
  • Margarita
  • beesknees
  • Cuzco Punch Royale
  • 1924 Julep
  • Georgia Avenue Punch
  • Malbec
  • Frozen Blueberry Margarita
  • Smith Cross Road
  • Arabic Goose
  • Abita Purple Haze
  • RedBull & Vodka
  • Tecate
  • Patron XO Café
  • Sixpoint Sweet Action
  • Sixpoint Apollo
  • Sea Breeze
  • Dirty Saktini
  • Loose Cannon
  • Crown on the Rocks
  • Sex on the Beach
  • Pisco Sweet
  • Mai Tai
  • Budweiser
  • shot of Bulliet Burbon
  • DC Mule
  • Blue Moon
  • Paleorita
  • Peroni Beer
  • Limonchello
  • Jameson & Ginger
  • Gin & Tonic
  • 3 Olive Vodka’s Loopy
  • Summer Shandy
  • Boozy Rootbeer Float
  • Sangria Roja
  • HC Cooler
  • Three Day Weekend
  • Sam Adams Summer Wheat
  • Cuba Libre
  • Jungle Juice
  • Shot of Jameson
  • Rusty Screwdriver
  • Reisling Kabinet
  • French 8407
  • Aligator Piss
  • Belini Mojito
  • Sam Smith’s Organic Cider
  • Sweet Muscat Wine
  • Watermelon Mojito
  • Mike’s Hard Lemonade
  • Bushmill’s Irish Whiskey
  • Piglet
  • Capitol Hill Mimosa
  • Hurricane Zora


Check them ALL out here including fun photos of my Adventures so far, little side stories and additional notes in the Adventures Archive section of the blog. Enjoy! See you in September (just a few weeks away)…

Cheers, Ben

Permalink Piglet Ah, another first visit to a new restaurant here in DC. Joe and I are kinda addicted to trying the new places, and especially the ones that give us pause. I present to you, The Pig. Yes, The Pig. Just as you’d assume, a place that specializes in snout-to-tail indulgence of the porky kind. They’d been open for a little over a month and we were walking home down 14th for a change and there it was. “I forgot this was open, already.” Joey stopped and commented. We stood there for a minute. So, as you might have picked up over the last few posts, we’d been really, really socially busy. We had come off a really packed, friend-intensive week and weekend and were just commenting how we were looking forward to walking home and just doing nothing. And yet the pull of The Pig was just too great to deny. It’s a really great little place, rustic, playful and nicely casual. They’re another fantastic restaurant from the EatWell DC line of haunts that also happens to have one of our very favorites, The Heights. We were excited to try the newest kid on the EatWell block.  The menu is mostly—ugh—small plates, but there are thankfully some entrees on the menu. And the menu was pretty playful with some form of pig product or truffle—get it?—on the menu except for a few “vegetarian” items and one plate of some pretty damn good buttermilk fried chicken.  Oh, I put “vegetarian” in quotes because if you’re literally a vegetarian for animal-right-social-political reasons, you might as well be a peanut-allergy suffer visiting the Snicker’s factory because you heard they had a variety that contained almonds. But I digress. Food aside, they had a pretty fantastic drink menu too.  I had a hard time picking just one thing for both my interest and the blog. But then I saw it: The Piglet. On their smaller, “tasting” menu, there were a few items for sampling. And namesake aside, the Piglet just sounded fun. Made with Crispin Hard Cider, Aperol Bitter Orange liquor, Lillet Blanc and cranberry anise bitters, the drink was cute and tiny but packed a punch.   Little, refreshing, nice and darkly fruity, the Piglet had this fantastic apple skin richness and crisp pear-like finish. It was tart bordering on bitter, but homey. And the drink had a rich alcohol flavor but some brightness from the Blanc and cider. I liked it. It was complicated yet rustic. It was an educated cider, like it had some college in its years.  A cider with an old soul?  Eh, you catch my drift. Oh, but—and you’ll note this is rare—even better than the drink of the night was the dessert. And no, it didn’t contain any alcohol. But it did contain blood. Yep. Pig’s actually—I know, shocker. Called the Sundae Bloody Sundae, it was chocolate & pig blood ice cream with ginger whipped cream, a brandy cherry and spicy bacon peanut brittle. It was like this rich fudge cream with all the delightful toppings in tow. You couldn’t taste the blood—bummer, kinda—but you could tell there was something different and richer, creamier. It worked. Well. I was impressed it was not only on the menu, but it was real and really good. The Pig. The Piglet. Sundae Bloody Sundae. Oh sure, they’re driving the theme hard, but not into the ground. Oh no, I’d never let anything from that kitchen or bar make it that far from my mouth. No worries. Now go… go and be Pig. You’ve been commanded. Cheers, Ben
Permalink To be fair… I’ve met some really amazing people, made some really amazing new friends, had some really amazing stories and tried some really amazing drinks all because I’ve been drinking alcohol. And yes, that could be considered “life-changing”.  So I should probably go back to her cube and clarify. Maybe. We’ll see. If she’ll really read the blog like she said she will, she’ll see this anyway, right?So maybe this post just became a test. Game on.
Permalink The absolute best Yappy Hour at the Blue Banana yet! Over 20 dogs, dozens of owners, lots of money raised for the Washington Humane Society, and tons of fun with my handsome husband posing with the pups as Summer Santa! If you want to see all the Santa fun photos, check them out HERE! Woof!
Permalink Bellini MojitoSummer. 101 degrees. Dinner at The Heights in DC. 101 degrees. And yes, it’s worth repeating. As most of the country knows, it’s unbelievably hot these days. Scorching, disgusting, sweat-like-you’re-getting-paid-to-sweat hot. Baking cookies on your dashboard, even the breeze is 98 degrees and sprinkler water is 89 degrees hot. I think I even saw a 7lb poodle burst into flames. Maybe it was already on fire. Who knows.But seriously, it’s been 101+ degrees in the District for days. I mean, its been in the 98+ space for a few weeks. It’s gross. My white sugar does have a melting point, people. No one wants to see that.In fact, have you ever considered what a leading national tourist destination with a healthy homeless population smells like at 101 degrees? Wait. Hold on. Sorry. Don’t. Sorry. I’m sorry I even brought it up. My mistake. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Ignore me.…Anyway, the game plan every night is finding something cooling to do. Movie night, ice cream parties, quiet evenings at home in the A.C., naked dives into tubs filled with soothing frozen cubes of blue and red jello—you know it’s time to get out when you’re just sitting in purple goo. And on this occasion the plan to stay cool included a nice dinner out at one of our very favorite local restaurants, The Heights in the bustling, typically steamy Columbia Heights neighborhood.Home to a few former firstdrinks, Three Day Weekend and a Cool Cucumber Bloody Mary variation, and hands-down, the absolute best poached eggs for brunch, we were there to have a nice dinner, catch up with Chris & Natalie and hopefully drink something cold and refreshing.Scanning their summer July seasonal menu, I was looking for something with the fresh and delicious flavors of summer, but that refreshing straight from the firehose cool factor. And then Natalie found the potential cool summer drink holy grail: a full pitcher of Bellini Mojito.Part summer peach sparking wine, mixed with cooling mint and simple syrup, it just screamed “best suggestion” to beat the heat. Now, I’m not going to lie. In my head, I was hoping it would be peach wine mixed with white rum, simple syrup and muddled with mint and frozen peaches. I know I’m still the Virgin, but if you’re going to mastermix two classic summer drinks into one monster of a winner, go whole hog. But this was certainly close enough.Sweet, tangy, peachy, subtle with a nice sparkle from the clean, clear wine. Nicely refreshing, smooth but with a hint of alcohol, it was really lacking mint flavor but certainly had lots of mint leaves throughout. On one hand, it didn’t really have the peach punch of bellini, it didn’t have the sweet, minty spice of a mojito and while similar, it also didn’t even have the depth of a simple white sangria. It was tasty and thirst quenching in this heat, but it was more of a hyped peach wine water with some fleck of green garnish.So how do I put this? Its like when you ask for dessert and someone brings out a cheese plate. Sure, it’s dessertesque and it’s delicious, but it’s not what I asked for—or in this case what it was described as. So, one one hand I liked it and on the other it was kinda disappointing. Not that it matters, The Heights, you’d have to literally ruin 6 meals in a row for me to lower my love for you. No seriously, I’ve never had a bad meal. Or a bad service. So one mediocre drink isn’t sinking any ships. And it did make me forget about 101 degrees for a few sips. And for that, I thank you.Cheers, BenPS: It’s July! And next week we’re celebrating Christmas in July at our monthly Yappy Hour for Charity at the Blue Banana, supporting the Washington Humane Society. And this event even has an official beer sponsor, the aptly partnered Flying Dog Brewery!  First 20 people get a free Flying Dog brew, ALL dogs get free dog biscuits and come get your dog’s picture taken with Summer Santa (aka, my husband Joe in a summer Santa suit… no, I’m not kidding. He wishes I was…)
Permalink QUICKIE POST: Alligator PissAh, the night before the 4th of a July. A relatively quiet day in the District with early release from work and no plans for the evening. Joe and I decided to head to our local hangout, the Blue Banana for a mid-week-pre-holiday-wind-down.I wasn’t even sure if I was going to drink. I knew we were going to get double mozz sticks and waffle fries, sure. But I didn’t know if I was in the mood for a drink that I’d need to write about later.  Blogpeopleproblems.And then I started playing around with one of my favorite iPhone apps, Mixology. A fun little app that showcases thousands of cocktails, shots and alcoholic drinks. All the popular ones are there—ingredients and all—including a slew of historic, oddball and obscure suggestions and recipes. Jamie at the Blue Banana was interested in making me something different, so I flipped around Mixology until I stumbled one I’d never hear of: Alligator Piss.I wish I could accurately describe the what-the-fuck, incredulous looks Joe and Jamie gave me. “Alligator Piss? Piss?! Really? … ok, what’s in it.”Amaretto, Midori melon liqueur, peach Schnapps, Southern Comfort, Sour Mix and a few splashes of sprite, shaken and poured into a highball. It literally looked like pale green swamp piss. It smelled nicely fruity, however.Sugary sweet, floral yet fruity, it was a really, really tasty drink. The melon and peach favors made it slightly tropical, but also blended to create a slightly earthy, grassy flavor. The sour mix gave it touch of tartness and the 4 alcohols provided a nice one-two punch.Have you ever had the rare green pez flavor? Its like a apple/tropical flavor. It’s hard to find, but if my memory serves, this is pretty close to what Alligator Piss tastes like. If that’s even helpful. Maybe not. But it was really good. Surprisingly good. Even Joe and Jamie were surprised and delighted. I suggested he put it on the drink menu, tweak-it and re-name it DC Swamp Water or Georgia Ave. Piss. We’ll see if that happens. I’m not sure if “Come drink the Georgia Ave. Piss at the Blue Banana” would be the right draw… hm. We might have to consider the marketing…Cheers, Ben PS: Happy 4th of July!! I’m going to be having at least one firstdrink today… what yet, who knows! Until then, see you in a few, stay cool and make sure to get in as much bbq as personally possible before your sweat starts to smell like sauce. At least that’s how I know I’m tipping the scales.
Permalink 7 months into this goofball project and I’ll occasionally get recognized in public around DC. More often however, no one has any clue who I am or what I’m doing. And then there are the even more rare occurrences like this one. I live for these moments. He was so nice and so chill. And pretty drunk and very confused. I just let him walk away. For all I know he wanted to give me my own show on the Travel Network. And now I’ll never know…
Permalink French 8407Date night. No, not the strangely disappointing movie (Steve Carell and Tina Fey. Steve & Tina. What happened? Seriously. No, seriously. It should have been comedy genius. …seriously, anyway.)   Well, it was more like Date Afternoon, and with our good friends—and frequenters of the Adventures blog—Courtney & Jordan, we were taking in a movie, a nice dinner and some time hanging out with good friends. The movie: Pixar’s Brave. The dinner: Silver Spring’s 8407 Kitchen Bar. Brave was fantastic. Not epic. Typically, Pixar is epic. Wall-e, The Incredibles, oh god, Up! Wait, the Toy Story trilogy… Finding Nemo?! Epics. All epics. It was Cars fantastic. A Bug’s Life fantastic. But not Monsters, Inc. epic. Great story, funny, sweet, smart, enthralling. Fantastic, but I just want to make it clear in the line-up. But let’s talk epic on another front, shall we? Let’s talk 8407 Kitchen Bar. Courtney & Jordan love this place. They’ve mentioned a few times how much they enjoy eating there, the cocktails, the deviled eggs. Oh, lord, those deviled eggs.Right off the bat, ALL of their starting plates were amazing. Calamari, homemade sausages & sauerkraut, the-most-heavenly-deviled-eggs-ever, steamed mussels and a second order of the-most-heavenly-deviled-eggs-ever. Oh! And they have this amazing housemade beef jerky on the menu for $1 a strip. Really? Yes. Really.You know how some places make you frustrated that you can only order one entree? Even when you know you can sample off other’s plates? No? Only me? Shut-up, I’m not addicted to food. I’m not. I’m not. [I am.]Back-off. So we each order our meal and every one was rich, savory and delicious. Joe’s especially: a rich seafood red curry stew over jasmine rice. My steak was perfect, the duck fat fried french fries, inspired. But after tasting his stew, I wanted to distract him and switch meals. And then distract him again and switch back. Essentially eating both meals. And no, it doesn’t mean I don’t love him. Again, back-off.Oh lord, have I even mentioned the cocktails yet? Crap. Sometimes—when food is involved—I forget why I’m writing this little blog. Sorry, you’ll have to forgive me.  But did I mention the deviled eggs had crispy pastrami bacon on top? No? Oh. It was hard to make a decision from their cocktail list. Most of it is inspired, several quirky and all of them look worthy of a virgin’s taste. Wait. That sounds dirty. …Eh.After some table debate, I settled on one of their personal modern classics, a French 8407. Made with Hangar One vodka, St. Germaine Elderflower liquor, Yuzu juice—a distinct Japanese citrus fruit, lemon bitters, and Gruet Sparkling Wine.It was strong and tasty, and crazy tangy. Made with 3 different alcohols it started nicely sweet, but ended slightly bitter. The elderflower is not one of my favorite flavors, with it’s earthy, grassy, floral musk. However, it blended nicely with the lemon and yuzu citrus flavors. The alcohol sting was striking, the bubbles keeping the flavors of the drink lingering on my tongue in tiny little bursts. It tasted fancy and looked fancy, thusly, making me feel fancy. In a weird way, the French 8407 was similar to the Tom Collins I had with Courtney & Jordan back in the beginning, but fresher, tangier, tastier.  Sorry, Tom, you lose again. Oh man, I’m so glad I’m not you, Tom. Whoo-boy. Poor Tom.Oh, Date Afternoon. So fun. Courtney and Jordan keep showing us sides of the eastern region to fall in love with. From Baltimore to Richmond and in nearby Silver Spring.  We really need to reciprocate in some creative way. I’m just afraid that Cleveland isn’t enough. Good enough, that is. Or enough? Just enough. No reason to be mean. I still love you Cleveland. Enough it is.So pack your bags Courtney and Jordan, we’ll be making plans soon to be NE Ohio bound! Well, don’t pack your bags yet.  Soon is just a way of saying “sometime soon.” or “sometime”.We’re all young. We have time. Cleveland isn’t going anywhere. There is still time to kick back, relax and order the-most-heavenly-deviled-eggs-ever from 8407 while we wait. Seriously, those eggs. I’m not kidding. Let’s make plans to do that first. Like right away, first. Cleveland can seriously wait. Cheers, Ben